Self Improvement: Approval Is Worse Than Crack!

There’s nothing nicer than a pat on the back – being told you’re great or that was a job well done. It makes you feel better about yourself. But you should feel good about yourself anyway.

Unfortunately, we’ve all been reared on a highly addictive drug – the drug of approval. We need to feel that we’re “in”, that people like and notice us. We worry about what others think of us – but we shouldn’t waste our time – most people aren’t thinking about us at all, they’re too busy wondering what others think of them. From our earliest years, when we stood up to do our party-piece or when we won the three-legged race, we’ve been taught that recognition and approval are great. And they are – it’s just that the normal person craves them.

However, your self esteem needs to come from within – that’s kind of what the word “self” means. You should approve of yourself and understand that, in fact, you’re worth it. You probably have perceived shortcomings and inadequacies – but that’s all they are, perceptions. We learned these perceptions at the same time that we learned our need for approval – when we were young and impressionable. Now, in later life, the approval of others papers over the cracks of our own misconceived self-notions.

I once asked a very close friend who, quite literally, hated the very sight of himself in the mirror “Do you think that the God you believe in would create something imperfect?” He answered a very definite “Yes” – hardly surprising when you consider that standard religious teaching tells us that we are in need of redemption.

Let’s take a look at the psychological facst. Perhaps we were with blue eyes and a certain skin tone – but we weren’t born with a personality – we we picked it up along the way. It was foisted upon us (often with the best will in the world) when our minds were sponge-like. And now, as adults, we take what’s lodged in our subconscious as given, the Gospel truth, firmly held beliefs. That’s why we need the approval of others – as I said, it makes us feel better.

Get over yourself, time to kick the habit! Reacquaint yourself with the real you within – that inner power that we all have to be great, to be wonderful, to be all that we can be. Don’t allow what’s going on around you give you either a high or a low – your state of mind is the only thing in your life that you can absolutely control – grab it and embrace it with all your energy.

And how might you do that? You need to stop the noise in your head – the internal noise that’s telling you that you’re inadequate and the external approval or disapproval of people, most of whom don’t give a damn about you. You need to learn to pay attention to the reality of the present moment. In fact, you need to come to your senses – you have five of them, use them.